Sardar Jokes

1 ladka der raat se ghar par pahuncha….
Papa: Kaha the itni der?
Ladka: Friend ke ghar par.
Papa ne 10 doston ke ghar phone lagaya….
2 friends: Yanhi par hai uncle, padh raha hai.
3 friends: Abhi nikla hai uncle, ghar pahunchta hi hoga.
4 friends: Yanhi par tha uncle.
Sardar’s Son: Han papa bolo, kya hua?

Sardar ki maut bijli girne se hui par uski lash muskurate hue mili.
Bhagwan ne poocha: Aisa kyun?
Sardar Bola : Mujhe laga koi photo kheench raha hai.

Sardarji: Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor: What’s your problem?
Sardarji: I keep forgetting things.
Doctor: Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji: What problem?

Sardar joined new job. First day, he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening?
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain aur10% interest ke hisab se vo 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kuchh bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante?
Bania’s son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko khrid lunga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bech nahi rahaa hu.

Boy: kal main tumhare ghar gaya tha, lagta hai hamari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhare behan se milaa tha.

Examiner Sanju se: ye kya hai? tumne khaali paper kyu diya hai?
Sanju : safai ke liye 5 marks hai isliye.

Sanju: Raju, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hain.

Sare murde uth khad hue aur bole: Kyon na soye, yeh jagah apni jaan de ke hasil ki hai.

Sardar had twins. He named them Tin and Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them Tired & Retired.

A Teacher lecturing on population –
In India after every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up say – we must find and stop her.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaari gaadi to petrol se start hoti hai.

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichhlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : You are Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE.

Santa te Banta kisi da afsos karan gaye.
Ik kudi Bante de gal lag ke ron lag payi.
Santa to girl: Idhar aao ji, eh mere vi ohi lagde si jo Bante de lagde si.

Punjabi Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar vich Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lia si?.
Student: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke si.

Santa tube light de neech muh khol ke khada si.
Kiyon…
Kiyon ki doctor ne kaha si: Aj tera pet kharaab hai, light hi khana.

Ik kudi class vich bohot late aayi.
Master: Tu late kiyon aai?
Kudi: Masterji ik munda mera picha kar riha si.
Master: Par biba, tu late kyon hoi?
Kudi: Masterji, oh munda bohot hole hole chal riha si.

Punjabi Boy: Main tere nal shaadi nahi kar sakda. Ghar wale mana kar rahe ne.
Punjabi Girl: Ghar vich kon kon hai.
Punjabi Boy: 1 bivi te 3 bacche.

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said : My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610.

One day a dog was running behind a Sardar… But Sardar was laughing.
A man asked: Why you are so happy?
Sardar said : Because I have an Airtel mobile with me…
But Still Hutch network is following me.

A Man asked to a Sardar: Akal badhi ya bhains?
Sardar: Pehle dono ki date of birth to batao.

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
Seeing this he said India is developing fast,
See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air.

Sardar: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion’s cage.
A man: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Sardar: I didn’t say he got out.

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa: “How far is land”?

Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman: Which direction?

Santa: Downwards.

Santa:- Which is better?

Google or Yahoo..?

Banta- Oh wait.I will search it on Google.

Santa: What are the people of Turkey called?

Banta: I don’t know.

Santa: They are called Turks.

Now What are the people of Germany called?

Banta: They are called Germs.

Teacher to santa: where were you born?

Santa: Thiruvananthapuram

Teacher: can u spell it?

Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.

Santa: Why did a man throw the butter out of the window?

Banta: He wanted to see butterfly.

Teacher : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

Pappu : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Wife, kitchen se Boli : aji sunte ho, aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue.

Husband: tumne kaise jana

Wife : aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai.

Teacher : Why are you late, Ramu ?

Ramu : Because of the sign.

Teacher : What sign?

Ramu : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

Wife: Suniye Ji aap ka dost galat ladki se shaadi kar raha hai. aap usse rokte kyon nahi?

Husband: Main kyon rokon? us ne mujhe roka tha kiya .

A tourist fromLondoncomes to visitIndiaand he sees a villager, He asks a question to him:

Tourist: Any great men born in this village?

Villager: No sir, only small babies. 

Santa ne shauq shauq me rozaa rakh liya,
He asked 2 his son,
Dekh sooraj dooba?

Son : Nahi jee,

After some time again he asked,
Dekh dooba ki?

O nai jee,
Santa : Lagta hai menu le ke he doobega!!

A sardarji went to a STD PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.

Guess why ?

Because there it was written : “Number dial karnay se pehle do lagaye”

Santa : yaar jab tumhe garmi lagti hai to tum kya karte ho !
Banta : Arre bhai A.C. on karke uske samne baith jata hu
Santa : Agar tab bhi garmi lagni kam na ho phir !
Banta : Phir A.C. on kar leta hu !