Marathi Sms

Jevha tula aagdi ekta vaatel
Najre samor dhuka vaatel
Aaspaas konich disnar naahi
Saagle jaag andhuk houn jail
Tevha tu majhya kade ye
Me tula
Dolyanchya doctor kade gheun jain

Ekada don mitra,1 Hindu ani dusra Musalmaan, rastyane barobar challe astaat. Tevdhyat, tyanna rastyat vis(20) rupayaachi note disate. Musalmaan mitra ekdaam excite houn mhanto,
“Bis Milaah!!” Tyavar Hindu mitra chidun manto, “dus tulla, dus malla!!!!!”

Priye
Tu mala havi aahes
Majya sobat
Ekhadya chanshya hotel madhe
aikache aahet te
Premache teen shabda.
Ek Sardaarji tyachya sundar bahinila scootar varun geun chalala asto. Tevdhyat kahi targat mule tyachya bahinila baghun mhantaat,” yaar, kya bivi mili hai sardaar ko!!” Sardaarji te aikto ani khup chidto, to scooter park karto ani tyanna mhanto, Aare saale, bivi hogi teri! Vo to meri behen hai!

Santa Banta Sms

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir PHD karwaunga fir badhiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir achha sa rishta dekh ke uski shaadi bhi karwa dena.

Santa : O Banno car ki speed itani kyon badha di..?
Biwi : Oji car ke break fail ho gaya hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!

Judge: Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he, kal tumhe Fansi pe chdhaya jayega..
Santa: Wo to thik he,lekin utara kab jayega?

Ekda ek manus doctor kade jato. Tyala constipation cha traas hot asto.
Patient: Doctor, mala alikade hoat nahi.
Doctor: Theek ahe aajpasun palikade basun bagha kahi farak padto ka te.

Gavkari: 10 Rupayachya recharge var kiti talktime milel?
DukandaR : 7 rupaye.
Gavkari: Thik ahe rahilelya 3 rupayachi chocalates dya.

Priye
Tu mala havi aahes
Majya sobat
Ekhadya chanshya hotel madhe
aikache aahet te
Premache teen shabda
me bill bharte.

Ekada Mr.Dhadpade bandage lavalelaya awastyet aaplya ghara madhun baher jatana disle. Mi vicharle kay apaghat wagere zala kay? tar te hasale aani mhanale, nahi apaghat wagere nahi zala. pan kalach mazaya mandaline navin polpat-latane aanale aahe.

Kasur na unka hai na mera,
hum dono hi rishton ki rasmein nibhate rahe
wo dosti ka ehsaas jatate rahe
hum mohabbat ko dil mein chhupate rahe.

Jindagi jakhmo se bhari hai,
Waqt ko marham banana sikho,
Haarna to hai maut ke saamne,
Filhaal jindagi se jitna sikhlo.

Ankho mein aansuo ko ubhar ne na diya
mitti ke motiyon ko bikhar ne na diya
jis raah pe pade the tere kadmo ke nishan
us raah se kisi ko guzar ne na diya

Dosti se aaj pyaar sharmaya hai,
Teri chahat ne kuchh aisa gajab dhaya hai,
Khuda se kya mange,
Woh to khud aaj aap jaisa dost mangne aaya hai.

Yahi to khubsurat dosti ka nata hai
Jo bina kisi shart ke nibhaya jata hai,
Rahe duriyan darmiya to parwah nahi,
Dost to har pal dil mein basaya jata hai.

Old Man: Putar mere dand (teeth) lai ke aa.
Putar: Bapu roti te bani nahi hai.
Old Man: Roti nahi khani, sahmne vali buddhi nu smile deni hai.

Munda: Papa ik glass pani de do.
Papa: Apne aap lai lae.
Munda: Papa, please tusi de do.
Papa: Je hun mainu pani vaste keha ta me 2 thapad maranga.
Munda: Papa jado thapad maran aaoge ta pani lainde aana.

1st man: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
2nd man: Gold ring de de.
1st man: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
2nd man: fir MRF da tyre de de.

Panjabi man: Jaldi ik peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Panjabi man: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Panjabi man: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Par eh ladai honi kado hai?
Panjabi man: Jad tu paise mangega.

Ik sherni nach rahi si,
usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, “Nachne nu kare mera jee, haye ni tenu nachdi dekh ke.

Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.

Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI.

Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain.

Santa: whats diffrence between Seniors & Juniors?
Banta: Jo samundra ke najdik rehte wo seniors (sea+nears) &
Jo chidiyaghar ke najdik rehte wo Juniors (Zoo+nears).

Banta: Operation karte waqt patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Santa: Woh isiliye ki patient operation na seekh le.

Banta’s son: Dad there is someone on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.
Banta: Give him a glass of water.

Apne pyaar ko chhupa na sake
Dewaane dil pe kaboo pa na sake
Aaj itne karib se guzar gaye wo
Phir bhi unke hath hum tham na sake.

Friendship is like a priya gold (Hak se mango)
Love is like a pepsi (Yeh dil mange more)
And girlfriend is like ghadi deterjent (Pehle istemal karo phir biswas karo).

Humne kisi se pyar kiya doston,
wo bewafa niklegi pata na tha,
ye shayad humari nadani thi,
us bewafa ne to humse majak kiya tha.

woh uske aa jane par khil jana ,
woh uske dur se dekhne par muskurana,
woh uske paas se gujar jane par ghabrana,
woh chhoti chhoti baaton par ruthna,
woh ek pal mein maan jana.

Thought of the day:
Agar aap bus pe charte hain…..
ya phir bus aap pe charti hian …
dono martaba ticket aapka hi katta hai !

Duniya kahin us ko bhi samjhdar na kar de
Ley dey ke wohi shakhs hai is shehar mein apna,
Duniya kahin us ko bhi samjhdar na kar de !