Funny Hindi Sms

Life me hamesha haste raho, Muskurate raho,
Gaate raho, Gungunate raho, Khush raho,
Taki tumhe dekh log samajen k tum..
Unmarried ho.

Agar koi hame acccha
lagte hai to, achha wo nahi
acche hum hai…
&
Agar hume koi bura lagta hai to
jaan lo ki, bura wohi hai kyo ki
hum to achhe hi hai na.

Santa: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Banta: Suicide karne ke liye
Santa: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Banta: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

Laloo’s Son: Papa, aapki shaadi me kitna kharcha aaya tha?
Funny Laloo: Meine kabhi hisab nahi lagaya, par mein aaj tak uss ke liye pay kar raha hu.

Jokes Sms

Doctor: Aapko aisi dawa dunga ki aap fir se jawan ho jayengi.
Old woman: Nahi beta aisa mat karma, varna meri pension band ho jayegi.
Ladka: Tum mere sapno me khwabon me jazbato me rahti ho
Ladki: Bhaiya aapko kisi ne bewkoof banaya hai,
mai toh haryana mein rahti hoon.

Sardar to friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend: If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar: Oji, I will give both of them.

Kasam se har ladke ko bhula dungi,
Sabki tasveerain jala dungi,
Ek tum hi rahoge is dil main,
Balance dalwa do tumhe dua dungi.

Romantic Sms

Saans lene se bhi teri yaad aati hai,
Har saans mein teri khushboo bas jati hai,
Kaise kahoon ki saans se main zinda hoon,
Jab ki saans se pehle teri yaad aa jati hai.

Pal pl se banta hai EHSAAS
eshsaas se banta hai VISHWAAS
Vishwaas se bante hai RISHTEY
aur rishto se bante hai koi KHAAS.

My heart says that you like me,
My eyes says that you feel something for me,
My mind says that you think of me,
But till now you are quiet.

Dil ki batein aakhon se kahi jati hai,
Bol dhadkan se sune jate hai,
Aap toh nadan hai jo saaf sunna chahte hai,
Ishq ke jazbat toh sirf mehsoos kiye jate hai.

Santa Banta Sms

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir PHD karwaunga fir badhiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir achha sa rishta dekh ke uski shaadi bhi karwa dena.

Santa : O Banno car ki speed itani kyon badha di..?
Biwi : Oji car ke break fail ho gaya hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!

Judge: Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he, kal tumhe Fansi pe chdhaya jayega..
Santa: Wo to thik he,lekin utara kab jayega?

Believe me, you are the one,
Whom my heart finds,
Whom my mind reminds me of,
Whom my destiny wants,
Whom I love the most.

Pal pl se banta hai EHSAAS
eshsaas se banta hai VISHWAAS
Vishwaas se bante hai RISHTEY
aur rishto se bante hai koi KHAAS.

My heart says that you like me,
My eyes says that you feel something for me,
My mind says that you think of me,
But till now you are quiet.

Jaam par jaam pine se kya fayda,
Raat gujri to sari utar jayegi
Kisi, ki ankho se piyo
khuda ki k asam umar sari nashe me gujar jayegi.

Judge: Tum apni limit cross kar rahe ho.
Lawyer: Kaun saala aisa kehta he?
Judge: Tum ne muje sala bola?
Lawyer: Nahi my lord, maine pucha KAUN sa LAW aisa kehta he?

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife, Jeeto.
2. Weakness:Banta’ s wife, Preeto.
3 .Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4. Threat: When I am on tour.

1st Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi ke lye haan bol di hai”
2nd Pagal: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se talaaq nahi dunga.

Beggar ek Aadmi se: 10rs. dedo sahib, girlfriend ko phone karna hai.
Aadmi ki girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsahab, use pyar karne ke baad hi main bhikhaari ban gaya.

Teacher: 5 mark lekar bhi tum hass kyon rahe ho?
Student: main ye soch kar hass raha hu ki wo 5 marks bhi kaise mile?

Teacher: Tumhari Maa ka naam kya hai?
LKG student: Mummy.

A donkey kicked sardar and ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra and started beating it and said
sala Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai.

Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.

Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI.

Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain.

Santa: whats diffrence between Seniors & Juniors?
Banta: Jo samundra ke najdik rehte wo seniors (sea+nears) &
Jo chidiyaghar ke najdik rehte wo Juniors (Zoo+nears).

Banta: Operation karte waqt patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Santa: Woh isiliye ki patient operation na seekh le.

Banta’s son: Dad there is someone on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.
Banta: Give him a glass of water.

1st man: Why are you heating the knife.
2nd man: To do suicide.
1st man: But why are you heating it?
2nd man: To prevent infection

Teacher: Agar dharti pe pani na hota to kya hona tha.
Bania ka beta: Hum to kangaal ho jate. Mera papa milk me kya milate?

.

Anath Ashram Manager to Mr. sharma: Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Mr. sharma: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

Beggar: Kuch khaane ko do!
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Roti do baba
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Tamatar hi khila do
Pandit’s Wife: Ye Totla keh rahe he KAMAKAR KHAO .

Boy: Xcuse Me

Girl: Jee Kahiye

Boy: Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf Se

Apko Happy Mother’s DAY.

Aadmi: Bhabhi ka kya naam hai?

Husband: Google.

Aadmi: Ye kaisa naam hai?

Husband: Sawaal ek karo, jawab 100 milte hain.

Patni(Pati Se) – Meri to koi santan nahi hai isliye

sochti hun ki apani sari  jaydad kisi sadhu ko daan

kar dun.

Ye sunkar pati uthakar jane laga.

Patni – Tum  kahan ja rahe ho?

Pati(Gambirta Se) – Sadhu banana.

Naari ke chakkar mein bhool na jaana yaari,

Jab laat maaregi naari to yaad aayegi hamari…..

Purush bachao samiti ki taraf se Janhit mein jaari.

Girlfriend to Santa: Me tum se tabhi shaadi karungi jab tum koi sahsi kaam kar ke dikhaoge.

Raju: Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

Lab pe  rukti hai baat aate aate,

Neend to nahi aati sapne bahut hai aate,

Hum to hai phase ek haseen uljhan mein,

Kaash woh aakar ise suljhaate.

Kal ko milne ki aas rehne do, 
Zindagi ki pyaas baki rehne do, 
Apni khushiyan samait losanam 
Mujh ko yun hi udaas rehne do.

Tere mere beech zamana padta hai

Dil ko kitni baar batana padta hai

Thehar gayi hai baat muqadder per aa ker

Khud ko yeh aksar samjhana padta hai.

Ye raat itni tanha kyon hoti hai,

Kismat se apni sabko shikayat kyon hoti hai,

Ajeeb khel khelti hai kismat,

Jise hum pa nahi sakte usi se mohabbat kyun hoti hai?

Tere bina hum jeena bhool jaate hain?

Zakhmon ko seena bhool jate hain..

Tu zindagi main sabse azeez hai hame.

Tujhse har bar yeh kehna bhool jaate hain.