Punjabi Sms

Punjabi Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar vich
Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lai si.
Student: Sir, menu eh vi pata hai tuhadi umar vich
Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke si.

Santa: Oye teri vohti kithe gayi?
Banta: Oh te peke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu ohnu kutda hovenga.
Banta: Nahi yaar, saki bhen vangu rakhda si

Santa to Banta: Main tere 64 de 64 dand tor dene ne.
Laloo: 64 nahi 32 dand hunde ne, paji.
Santa: Mainu pata si tu vi vich bolna , iss lai tere vi vich gin liye.

Punjabi Jat to Jatti: Darling aj barsat da din hai.
Koi eho jehi romantic gal kar ke
mere dono paer zameen ten a lagan.
Jatti: Moya fansi lai la.

Sardar had twins. He named them Tin and Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them Tired & Retired.

A Teacher lecturing on population –
In India after every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up say – we must find and stop her.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaari gaadi to petrol se start hoti hai.

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichhlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : You are Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE.

Santa te Banta kisi da afsos karan gaye.
Ik kudi Bante de gal lag ke ron lag payi.
Santa to girl: Idhar aao ji, eh mere vi ohi lagde si jo Bante de lagde si.

Punjabi Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar vich Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lia si?.
Student: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke si.

Santa tube light de neech muh khol ke khada si.
Kiyon…
Kiyon ki doctor ne kaha si: Aj tera pet kharaab hai, light hi khana.

Ik kudi class vich bohot late aayi.
Master: Tu late kiyon aai?
Kudi: Masterji ik munda mera picha kar riha si.
Master: Par biba, tu late kyon hoi?
Kudi: Masterji, oh munda bohot hole hole chal riha si.

Punjabi Boy: Main tere nal shaadi nahi kar sakda. Ghar wale mana kar rahe ne.
Punjabi Girl: Ghar vich kon kon hai.
Punjabi Boy: 1 bivi te 3 bacche.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi?

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke patthe — EVERY YEAR.

Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.

Sardar: You cheated me.
Shopkeeper : No, I sold a good radio to you.
Sardar: Radio’s label shows made in Japan but radio says, “This is all India Radio”.

Teacher: what do you call a person
who cannot hear anything?
Sardar: you can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything.

Old Man: Putar mere dand (teeth) lai ke aa.
Putar: Bapu roti te bani nahi hai.
Old Man: Roti nahi khani, sahmne vali buddhi nu smile deni hai.

Munda: Papa ik glass pani de do.
Papa: Apne aap lai lae.
Munda: Papa, please tusi de do.
Papa: Je hun mainu pani vaste keha ta me 2 thapad maranga.
Munda: Papa jado thapad maran aaoge ta pani lainde aana.

1st man: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
2nd man: Gold ring de de.
1st man: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
2nd man: fir MRF da tyre de de.

Panjabi man: Jaldi ik peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Panjabi man: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Panjabi man: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Par eh ladai honi kado hai?
Panjabi man: Jad tu paise mangega.

Ik sherni nach rahi si,
usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, “Nachne nu kare mera jee, haye ni tenu nachdi dekh ke.

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said : My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610.

One day a dog was running behind a Sardar… But Sardar was laughing.
A man asked: Why you are so happy?
Sardar said : Because I have an Airtel mobile with me…
But Still Hutch network is following me.

A Man asked to a Sardar: Akal badhi ya bhains?
Sardar: Pehle dono ki date of birth to batao.

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
Seeing this he said India is developing fast,
See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air.

Sardar: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion’s cage.
A man: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Sardar: I didn’t say he got out.

Banta: Par kyun???

Santa: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..