Funny Hindi Sms

Life me hamesha haste raho, Muskurate raho,
Gaate raho, Gungunate raho, Khush raho,
Taki tumhe dekh log samajen k tum..
Unmarried ho.

Agar koi hame acccha
lagte hai to, achha wo nahi
acche hum hai…
&
Agar hume koi bura lagta hai to
jaan lo ki, bura wohi hai kyo ki
hum to achhe hi hai na.

Santa: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Banta: Suicide karne ke liye
Santa: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Banta: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

Laloo’s Son: Papa, aapki shaadi me kitna kharcha aaya tha?
Funny Laloo: Meine kabhi hisab nahi lagaya, par mein aaj tak uss ke liye pay kar raha hu.

Jokes

Girl: Do you know, married men live longer than single man do?
Boy: Do you know married men are a lot more willing to die?

First friend: Dear, i love lipsticks, they are very tasty.
Next Day..
Second friend: You are liar, i bought 10 lipsticks and ate them.

Ek bhakt ashram me ja ke swami ji se bola: Swami ji, mera Puja e mann nai lagta,
kya karu?
Swami Ji: Us Puja ko mere pas bhej do, shayad mera man lag jaye.

Ravan ne Ram Ji se mafi mangne ka faisla kiya aur Ayodhya aaya.
Door knock kiya.
Ram Ji ne door khola.
Ravan Stands Thinking
Guess What?
Kis Mooh Se Maafi Maangu?

Ek pakistani sadak pe red light jump karta hai.
Police officer: Kya tum ko red light nazar nahi aayi.
Pakistani: Red light to nazar aai thi, par aap nazar nahi aaye.

Hindi Jokes

Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi kisi ladki ke sath unka chakkar toh nahi hai? ?
Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!

Bivi apne sharabi pati ko sudharne ke liye black kapde pahen kar ghar ke bahar khadi hui.
Pati: Tum Kon
Bivi: Chudail
Pati: Haath mila, Mai teri behen ka pati.

Bhikari: ae bhai 1 rs. dede, 3 din se bhookha hu.
Aadmi: 3 din se bhookha hai to1 rs. ka kya karega?
Bhikari: wajan tolunga kitna ghat gaya hai!

Customer: – Mujhe India ka flag dikhao.
Shopkeeper ke flag dikhane ke bad…..
Santa: – Isme aur colour dikhao.

GOLU: Tum bheekh kyon mangte ho kuchh kaam kyon nahi karte?
Bhikhari: Sahab kaam to tabhi karu jab is dhandey se fursat mille.

Ek aadmi kabar ke oopar baitha tha. Ek Marathi girl udhar se nikal rahi thi.
Marathi Girl: Tum ko dar nahi lagta?
Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai, andar garmi bahut thi thodi der kabar ke bahar aaya hu.

Ek Indian Police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi.
Wife: Utho ji, ghar me chori ho rahi hai.
Indian Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main is time duty par nahi hun.

Customer: Sardarji lassi me makkhi hai.
Sardar: Oye chupkar dil bada rakh, ye nanhi si jaan teri kitni lassi pee jayegi?

Blonde Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

Ragging ke waqt ladko ne

ek ladki se puchha,

Ek sawal ka jawab do –Patna kahan hai ?

Ladki –Bihar me .

Boys – yahi pat jao itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai .

Ek baar santa ko nakli bidi pee raha tha….

Banta: Yaar, bidi se dhua kyun nahi nikal raha?

Santa: Are bewkuf, dhua kaise niklega, ye CNG bidi hai.

Musharraf: When I was born, the military fired 51 canons.

Sonu: Allas ! all missed the target.

Sonu: Yaar mene ek baat notice ki hai,

Monu: kya?

Sonu: mene hamesha note kiya hai ki jab railway bhi fatak band hota hai to train jarur aati hai.

Santa jheb mein ek patther laker ghum raha tha..

banta: Tumne apni jheb mein patther kyun rakha hua hai?

Santa: kyunki jiski jheb bhari hoti hai usi ki chalti hai.

Bhikhari: Sahab ek rupaiya de do.

Sahab: Kal anna.

Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai.

Customer : I want this letter to get in toDelhi by tonight, If I post it tonight, will it possible even after 10 days?

Post Master : Yes sir, it surely will.

Customer : I bet you, it will never.

Post Master : But why?

Customer : It’s addressed to Mumbai.

DON KA INTJAR TO 11 COLLEGE

KI GIRL KAR RAHI HAI

MAGAR….

DONKACOLLEGE JANA MUSHKIL HI NAHI BALKI NAMUNKIN HAI

KYONKI….

DON 10+2 FAIL HAI.

Sonu: Young generation ko sabse zyada tention kab hoti hai?

Monu: Jab wo so kar uthe or unka mobile papa ke pas ho.

1Chuhe ne biili kekanpe

2 chante maar diye, to

Dusere chuhe ne pucha:Tuje dar nhi laga?

chuhe ne Dew ki kholi aur bola DAR KE AAGE JEET HE.

Agar koi hame acccha

lagte hai to

achha wo nahi

acche hum hai…

&

Agar hume koi bura lagta hai to

jaan lo ki

bura wohi hai kyo ki

hum to achhe hi hai na.

Khuda & Doctor ko kabhi naraj nahi karn chahiye

Kyonki….

Khuda naraj, to aap doctor ke pas aur doctor naraj, to aap khuda ke pas.

Ek aadmi ne ek ganwar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare.

Thodi der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…

“sahebji sahebji kutteji ne murgiji ko pakad liya hai.

Shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.

Kisine poocha kab tak khaoge?

Pathan: Mein to khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Par kya karoon card mein likha tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate hue kahi ja raha tha raste mein ek aurat se takragaya.

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte the kya ?

Pathan herat se… “Poori cycle mar di abhi break mar kar kya fayda.?

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.

He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi!

Maa: Shadi mein jhagde to hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.

Beti: Woh to thik hai par ab “LAASH” ka kya karu?

Doctor ek patient ke pichhe bhag raha tha…

Ek aadmi ne puchha: kya hua?

Doctor : Are yaar char bar aisa hua hai sala brain ka operation karwana aata hai aur baal katwake chala jata hai.

A pig Goes to GUINNESS BOOK OFFICE to check , that he is still the Most

Ugly animal on earth or Not?

He came out angrily and shouted – Ye saali Mayawati Kaun hai ?

Laxman apni wali ghar chhod gya.

Rawan dusre ki utha laya.

Hanuman ki apni to thi nhi magar

dusre ki khojne me Lanka jala dali.-

Ram ko apni wapas pane ke liye 10 din tak yudhdh

karna pada.

or end me kya hua?

Jis biwi ke kaarann itni badi Ramayann hui wo undrground ho gayi.

Sonu: What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ?

Monu: watch bigadti hai to ‘BAND ‘ ho jati hai aur wife bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai.

Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka BLOOD GROUP ek hi hai.

Man : Hoga kyon nahi? 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Train mein Raju ke 50 Rs. kho gaye….

tabhi ek musalmaan bola : ya allah BISMILLAH

Raju : abe saale, tujhe 20 mila, to baki 30 kisko mila?

Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe

Bade Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe

Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum

National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe.

Sardar got a job in AIRTel

Customer: Hello! my AIRTEL sim loked what to do?

Sardar: you don’t take tention, remove airtel sim and put BSNL. Thank you for calling.

Sardar’s Friend: Yar kalmaine kitni baar tujhe call kiya, attend kyon nahi kiya?

Sardar: Kyon attend karu, 30 Rs.dekar  jo gana lagwaya hai woh kaun sunega?

Two boys sending sms to their girlfriends.

1st boy: Mai tere mobile se teri girlfriend ko sms bheju?

2nd: No

1st: Why?

2nd: usne handwriting pehchan li to?

Dil se apka khayal jata nahin,

Apke siwa koi yaad aata nahi,

Hasarat hai roz apko dekhu,

Par kambakht woh madaari apko roz lata nahi.